April showers bring May flowers ... and melancholy
Now don't get me wrong. I love April and and the frequent showers that come with it. I think April is nature's perfect way of washing all the dirt and grime of the winter away and bringing 'fresh' back (not as exciting as JT's Bringing Sexy Back). And yes, the rain is great for sprouting green grass, flower bulbs and tree buds — everything Canadians look forward to as a sign of better weather to come.
But for me, April showers also have a way of bringing back some very sad memories. If you've studied English to a certain degree, I'm sure you know the term pathetic fallacy. Giving human emotion to aspects of nature, and nature embodying aspects of human emotion. Rain ... tears ... sadness.
I have lost some very special people in my life that all had birthdays in the month of April, so my sadness comes from missing the opportunity to celebrate future years together with these souls. As optimistically that I look forward to Spring and the promise of new growth and warm summer days to come, my mind can't help but revert back to all the wonderful moments and quirky traits that I miss about these loved ones.
I will often find myself staring at the rain drops for hours, or even walking through the wet downfalls when I feel I really want to connect with them. And I know they are with me. (Most likely laughing at me for walking in the rain!) I feel it does provide me with my own winter cleanse and the fuel for new growth of a new season. It provides an odd sense of calming that makes me realize we don't need to control our emotions. We need to ride the ebbs and tides of the way they flow, and that is perfectly fine.
So, if the gloomy showers of April leave you feeling heavy or unsettled, go for a walk. Let your sad emotions get washed away and think of the growth of all the things to come, in nature and within yourself. We can be the flowers of May.
